When The Bodyguard Puts His Master To Sleep!

The convenience of having all your news updates and digital-entertainment needs only a phone-swipe away can sometimes make sitting to watch TV difficult. These days I hardly ever do. Until last Friday, it may have been months since I purposely picked up the remote to browse the channels. When I did this time, I magically stumbled on the 1992 Hollywood blockbuster–The Bodyguard. It’s okay if you’ve never heard of this one. For all we know, while we were attending the movie premiere, your mom was probably busy fixing your diapers. Matter of fact, diapers are a recent development. In our day, we had what were called nappies. Think of a nappy as a small, thick face towel. Except this one’s a face towel for a baby’s butt!

The Bodyguard is the story of a renowned American songstress, Rachel, played by Whitney Houston. The diva is being followed by an obsessive stalker who is starting to pose a threat to the celebrity’s safety. I can totally relate! Anyway, to ward off any threats, she hires a (male) bodyguard. From that point on, you can guess which direction the story is going. The usual stuff really: she falls for him, throws the occasional tantrums here and there, but still likes him, he likes her too blah-blah. And, of course, the guy’s a bodyguard: so, he must take a bullet for his girl/boss at some point in his life while on duty. Without that, the movie would be pointless! In the 90’s, though, it wasn’t this predictable. But that’s the movie!

In the real world over here, the Kampala residential suburb of Kyanja woke up to some bloody scenes after an errant soldier who had been serving as part of a security detail, put his master to sleep! No, he didn’t read him a bedtime story. Trust, we all wished that was the case. He rather made a direct transfer of a couple of ammunition rounds from his gun into his boss’s flesh. The late Minister, a (retired) military man, himself, had last made a public appearance the previous day at a ceremony to mark the International Labor Day. It was a rainy day that Monday, yet, still, it didn’t occur to Mr. Charles Engola that a different kind of storm would descend on him the following day!

At the time of his passing, the deceased was the State Minister for Labor, Employment and Industrial relations. Concerning his gruesome exit, speculation has been rife that the bodyguard fell foul of his boss over unpaid dues. That, whereas he labored in his employment and worked industriously; he apparently hadn’t received payment in months. For now, let’s ignore the irony!

Eyewitnesses in the vicinity of the crime scene say that after gunning down the Minister, the bodyguard, who was identified as Private Wilson Sabiiti, in a rather interesting paradox, went Public about his personal grievances while firing rounds into the air. Conservationists at the Uganda Wildlife Authority will be pleased to learn that no birds were reported injured after this shooting spree. Say all you want, but that was a positive outcome! Pt. Sabiiti complained that whereas the Minister’s children went to school, his didn’t and they instead sat home cos they lacked the required school fees. And because he believed that the children are our future and should be taught well so they can lead the way; he was willing to take matters into his own hands–and he did!

The legitimacy or invalidity of his protest notwithstanding, it’s possible that despite his deployment as a bodyguard, Pt. Sabiiti may have decided long ago never to walk in anyone’s shadow! That if he fails or he succeeds, at least he’ll live as he believes. Unfortunately, in the military circles, this is a mark of indiscipline–you don’t live as you believe. You’re told how to live. Your job is to say, “Yes, sir!”. Sabiiti obviously dodged that class in boot camp. Chances are high that his character brought to the forefront a recurrent discipline problem, which’s the reason for his apparent reassignment recently after a brief stint as part of the protection unit of another high-profile individual elsewhere.

That said, no matter what they take from him–and they took his money!–he made sure they can’t take away his dignity. In light of that, after shooting the Minister, he marched on into a nearby barbershop/salon. In my analysis, the only sensible grounds for doing this is that, with the preestablished knowledge that he was about to cut his own life short and meet the Creator, the soldier desired a haircut. The least you could do is look kempt and presentable before the Big Man while He’s judging your case. It’s possible, therefore, that Sabiiti may have requested the barber to style his hair. Trouble is, he hasn’t been paid in months! It’s improbable he can afford one. To make matters worse, in Kampala there’s no such thing as a free haircut. The stalemate prompts the bodyguard to evacuate the premises. Thereafter, in the most dignified way, he fires a shot straight into the heart of his brain! There’s no question Sabiiti will be thinking about that bullet for an extremely long time!

It’s judgement day right now and the judicial proceedings are on-going. Sabiiti is standing on the front line. The LORD asks him what he did with his life! First, he requests for some heavy-duty painkillers cos he’s got a throbbing headache! He then answers, saying he spent some of his life guarding his boss, the Minister. Sabiiti follows up with an apology for the way things had tragically ended back here on earth. Two lives certainly can’t be worth a dismal $1,000 that was owed him! He’s quick to blame the devil for tempting him into dispensing such a dose of mayhem. The devil, who’s eavesdropping on the proceedings, swings in and is quite furious to hear about the accusation being leveled against him. He denies having prior knowledge of the crime and says he’s even experiencing some PTSD after watching the shocking story of the terror that Sabiiti meted out to his master. That on his worst day, he wouldn’t carry out such a heinous act!

Moving forward, it has been determined that even in their deaths, the two deceased individuals must reconcile. While it’s unlikely that this is practicable in the realm of the immortals, according to Luo culture, it’s possible! The ritual would involve a feast of sorts, the sacrificing of animals and I suppose some secret spiritual gymnastics as well. Truthfully, other than the food party for which I would gladly volunteer to participate, everything else just sounds spooky and complicated; I doubt I would want to be involved.

Ironically, the reconciliation process doesn’t suggest that the suicidal bodyguard or his family would eventually be paid his outstanding dues, or whether his children would resume school. What is clear for sure is that following this incident, shivers have been sent down many spines, and all the other Ministers are on high alert.

For the past few years in Kampala, there’s been a tidal wave of similar attacks targeting high-profile personalities, but particularly coming from outside of their spaces. In September 2018, District Police Commander, Muhammad Kirumira, was the victim of a brutally violent assassination. The same happened sometime in 2017 to the Assistant Inspector General of Police, Felix Kaweesi; and to Senior State Prosecutor Joan Kagezi in 2015, and many others, all of who didn’t survive. One lucky man is the current Minister of Works and Transport, General Katumba Wamala, who was fortunate enough to escape by a whisker. The kink in this drama series is that the attacks now appear to have started coming from within as well. You’re no longer safe on both fronts!

This dark cloud has undoubtedly struck much more than fear in the occupants of those high offices, triggering what could be a paradigm shift in the way the Ministers deal with their protectors. Whereas the stingy ones will expectedly maintain the status-quo and perhaps employ another set of guards to watch the existing bodyguards for suspicious activity; the silver lining is that, by mere chance–special thanks to Private Wilson Sabiiti–many previously ostracized bodyguards may have now won themselves an unlikely bargaining chip for better working conditions. And they wouldn’t even need to mention a thing. All you do is carry your loaded gun, wear a straight-face look and, without second thought, your boss will frequently invite you to dine with him and his family at that five-star restaurant he usually goes to.

Needless to say that, henceforth, the Ministers will naturally be inclined to splash cash at their bodyguards without stopping to count; and will regularly tell their protectors how they’ll always love them. Also, like their masters’ little brats, the bodyguards’ kids can now finally relish a sausage fest at every breakfast and enjoy freshly-baked bread with Nutella spread on one side and orange marmalade on the other. Margarine is now that unhealthy blob of fat worth relegating to the past! Additionally, the guards’ kids are likely to sign out of the bogus local education curriculum and will be delighted at a fully-sponsored enrollment at GEMS Cambridge International. It’s either this, sir, or your snobbish self is destined to becoming the next suitable candidate for a horrific bedtime story by which you’ll sleep with no chance of ever waking up!