ABOUT ME

Hi.
My name is Em.

I’m a writer, storyteller, and the Author/Editor of Tales By Em. You're about to be impacted with great thoughts and vibes through my writing on culture, travel, mysteries; as well as my personal opinions that are occasionally infused in satire. The perspectives that you'll come across here are my insights into what life is like in Uganda and beyond!

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INSPIRATION

"In our thoughts and words, we create our own weaknesses and our own strengths. Our limitations and joys begin in our hearts. We can always replace negative with positive."

-

Betty Eadie

People, Travel and Culture

Happy Ending At The Massage Parlor!

At 5:30pm my masseuse walks into the room. She’s a good-looking young lady. About 5ft tall. There’s a mask over her face. While I lay there on the warm massage table, she locks the only door to the room and then turns off the lights! What’s left is some really dim ambient lighting lining the edge of the ceiling. Sounding softly in the background is a playlist of every Kenny-G classic, particularly from his Breathless album. How convenient! Now I’m starting to feel like I could lose my breath anytime!

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Opinion

Fare Thee Well Oulanyah!

Over the years, it has come to our knowledge that ignoring God is never without risk. A grim reminder of that fact are the several undesirable events that have gone on to take place here in Uganda despite prior cautions. And yet we’ve still remained unwaveringly stiff-necked!

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Opinion

Public Health Amendment Bill Absolutism May Be Resisted

Retrospectively, it’s not difficult to see why many would rather pass up on anything that evokes memories of that rough period, not least, enrollment for the covid jabs. Moreover, it doesn’t exactly inspire reassurance knowing that even after a dizzying array of jabs and booster shots, there’s still no guarantee that one wouldn’t catch the virus or die from it!

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Satire

The Cost Of Unhealthy Relationships!

That said, as a rule of thumb, whenever insects are dragged into any discourse in Uganda, it’s important to realize that money has either changed hands or is about to! Explains why when the story about some lad selling grasshoppers on an airplane emerged, my suspicions quickly heightened. In this nature of situation, the insects are usually scapegoats! Never mind the irony!

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Opinion

Unshackle The Church!

For the better part of the past 18 months, places of worship have experienced a total shutdown. The tragedy here is just as much in the closure as it is in the fact that a considerable section of the population appears to have gradually grown familiar and comfortable with this obscene arrangement.

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Satire

Let’s Meet At Shoprite!

Finally, your sniffy nostrils drag you to the pastries and freshly-prepared foods area. In a short while, you’ll discover that this section is nothing more than a trap! You’re not hungry, but I can assure you, by the time you step out of Shoprite, you’ll be carrying two bags filled with all sorts of ready-to-eat food!

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Satire

Extreme Tourism In Your Backyard!

However, before you hop onto that airplane—good luck finding a direct flight to Kabul—you’re encouraged to meet up with your insurer. Dare not consider leaving that meeting before signing up for the K&R insurance package. That’s Kidnap and Ransom! And here’s why:

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Rob Walker
Opinion

Boosting Uganda’s Image Abroad

In early 2005, the Uganda Tourism Board forked out at least US$1m to CNN to boost the country’s image abroad. Compared to what we would be billed for having a celebrity, say, Kanye West, as our brand ambassador for the same period as the CNN ad was, that figure is arguably small. Yet the results would be way better with a celebrity than going through a media house.

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Satire

Kathleen Did a Noble Thing!

Only a Noble heart could have this kind of daring gut; representing a country where arts and sports are covered in dirt. Where, if not alert, you get dragged into every spat. Just for that, she deserved a huge pat, and a cowboy hat, right from the very start!

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Satire

In Uganda We Run!

We run out of fuel for our planes. We keep borrowing and run further into debt. We run the economy into the ground. The Banks run after us cos we defaulted on our loans. We run against corruption while running towards it. We run 70% out of MBs before we even load the MBs!

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Best posts from Em

Editor's Picks

Uganda To Kash In On New FBI Chief

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