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That said, as a rule of thumb, whenever insects are dragged into any discourse in Uganda, it’s important to realize that money has either changed hands or is about to! Explains why when the story about some lad selling grasshoppers on an airplane emerged, my suspicions quickly heightened. In this nature of situation, the insects are usually scapegoats! Never mind the irony!
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Finally, your sniffy nostrils drag you to the pastries and freshly-prepared foods area. In a short while, you’ll discover that this section is nothing more than a trap! You’re not hungry, but I can assure you, by the time you step out of Shoprite, you’ll be carrying two bags filled with all sorts of ready-to-eat food!
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However, before you hop onto that airplane—good luck finding a direct flight to Kabul—you’re encouraged to meet up with your insurer. Dare not consider leaving that meeting before signing up for the K&R insurance package. That’s Kidnap and Ransom! And here’s why:
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Only a Noble heart could have this kind of daring gut; representing a country where arts and sports are covered in dirt. Where, if not alert, you get dragged into every spat. Just for that, she deserved a huge pat, and a cowboy hat, right from the very start!
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We run out of fuel for our planes. We keep borrowing and run further into debt. We run the economy into the ground. The Banks run after us cos we defaulted on our loans. We run against corruption while running towards it. We run 70% out of MBs before we even load the MBs!
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For all we know, there might be more variants in the world than number of Ugandan MPs. It’s now almost like a variants race [see ‘arms race’]; and you get the sense that every country is as though striving to be perceived as the one with the most powerful mutation of the virus. “Hey! Our variant is deadlier. And copyrighted! Get your own!” India yells at America.
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Problem is, nearly everyone that passes you looks like the girl in gold and blue. Seems like a wonderful problem to have, but being new to the culture, you’re quite cautious whom and how you ask for directions—what if she screams and people think you’re harassing the girl! The last thing you want (at least not yet!) is to behold the Heavens opened and the Son of man standing at the right hand of God!
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With his ribs and side already thoroughly tenderized from that massive blow, just a little spice for treatment and Goatie will be cremated on the grill. He will thereafter receive a befitting send off accompanied with a glass of buttery wine.
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I strongly recommend you also buy yourself an original set of fake nails to use during the nail-biting penalty shootouts. Otherwise, after those extremely tense 10 minutes of penalty kicks, you might be shocked to find that not only are there no nails left on your fingers, but there are no fingers either! You nibbled on them! All you have left is your palms. So, now you even look like a leper.
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Overall, I sense that there’s more faith in our great leaders teaming up to pull this off and bring that trophy home, than there is in our African soccer boys outclassing the rest of the world to deliver the $20m trophy.
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