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My major problem with the visitors came during meal time. You know that point when the guest wants an additional serving of chicken, but there’s none left in the dish, yet there’s a piece on your plate? You, my friend, had to involuntarily sacrifice that juicy chicken wing!
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I’m not sure if in those days we were just misers, lazy, or maybe fancy decor ornaments simply didn’t exist yet, but our creative minds thought it smart to always use toilet paper in the place of ribbons! And, yep, there was a well-furnished supply of colorful rolls! So, you had linings of white, pink, green and blue toilet paper hanging from the ceiling all over the living room. For using toilet paper, I honestly wouldn’t blame you for thinking that was some shitty decor! But, hey, we didn’t seem to have issues with it, and neither did our guests. To all that, add a ton of twinkly lights, latex balloons and, mehn!—the strong scent that emerged from the house was nothing short of pure Christmas!
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Don’t get me started on the pre-roasted ones! Those insects are up there shamelessly competing with the price of fuel, you’d think they’ve got some sort of aspiration of becoming a commodity on the stock exchange. So, now we even have to choose between driving and eating grasshoppers!
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The last time Kenya’s Harambee Stars appeared in the AFCON after so many years was in 2019. Except their stars didn’t shine bright enough for them to see beyond the group stages. Same for Tanzania–2019! On the other hand, Uganda’s national soccer team, The Cranes, don’t even know what the rest of you are talking about. Their last flight to those heights was way back in 1978!
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So far as I can tell, the sequence of events is that after your haircut, the barber dispatches you to a different station where you’re received by a lady who’ll be giving you the complimentary facial treatment. She’ll also be serving you a thorough massage to the head, neck, shoulders, plus your—uhm—see, right there is where this stuff gets a bit sticky!
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The low-budget edition comes with an iconic smokey, rusty taste that is derived from the often sooty pan on which it’s prepared. The smoke rising from the charcoal stove delicately sips into the omelette and is a fundamentally vital ingredient that can’t be taken for granted, cos you’ll never find that distinctive flavor in the neatly-made rolexes.
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Cannibalism in itself has existed since ancient times, but has predominantly been practiced as a spiritual ritual or in the desperate times of famine rather than as a socially acceptable lifestyle. So, technically, human meat has been lurking in the shadows until now when the idea of normalizing its consumption is subtly crawling to the forefront.
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Postcolonial Africa has largely been the playground for the western world in the aspect of scrambling for, partitioning and exploitation of the continent’s vast natural resources at the expense of its citizens. With the emphatic arrival of the West’s nemeses, Russia and China, at the poker table, the landscape may have been altered for the better.
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“There’s no way by any stretch of the imagination that this child could be mine!” he’s thinking. Joseph is terribly disappointed. Up until this point, he had all the confidence in the world that no other man but he had bagged 100% rights to bringing Mary’s virginity story to a climactic conclusion. Suddenly, all that is no more!
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I have great confidence that, henceforth, there will be more billionaires joining Elon Musk in exploring the vastness of outer space than there will be that dare to even board their own super yachts, lest the ghosts of the Titanic invite them to dinner without warning!
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